Ribs and concert tees

Hello my lovely. I do believe that you have turned around, though I won't know for sure until I get to see you again. Only six more days and counting. Just a quick little note here before I go to bed for the 3rd and final time today. You are killing my ribs...I don't think it's that you are anywhere near them, however, I do still have all those pesky internal organs that I had before you were in there, and I think those are pushing against my rib cage. It hurts baby. It hurts bad. On another note, your daddy went to a concert last night and got you a tee shirt. You won't be able to wear it for a few months, but I think you're going to love it. We love you very much and we can't wait to see you.

TV has become my life

So here's a typical day for me these days....I'll get up when your dad gets up to go to work. I might pop in a movie after he leaves for work. Somewhere in the middle of the movie I fall back asleep. Then I'll wake up between 12:30 and 1:00 pm. Just in time for my stories. Of course there are always one or two commercials that come on during them that just make me tear up a bit. Today, for example, it was a commercial about a little boy practicing hockey. It's just him and a goalie. He's got all these pucks lined up and he's shooting them into the goal. After his last shot he takes his helmet off and says, "Thanks mom." Then the goalie takes her helmet off, smiles, and says, "anytime."
Ah....do you see what you're doing to me!?! You're turning me into a mother. It's the greatest thing in the world, though very odd sometimes. It's so weird how things really do change. Oh well....I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you squish.

Baby baby baby baby

Hey baby! You are getting so freakin' big I can't believe it. We've taken to calling you squishy. In about 22 days we will know for sure what to call you. Aiden, Isabelle. I can't hardley wait. The suspense is killing me I tell you. There's really not any other "news" that I should share with you. We are slowly getting things ready for your arrival. We both love you SO MUCH! I hope you're still coming to stay with us. Part of me is afraid that you'll realize what you're in for and abort mission. I can't say that I would blame you if you did, but I would be heartbroken to say the least. All that keeps me going is knowing that everything happens for a reason. I'll always love you no matter what. Until next time. :)

I know, I know...just call me a slacker

It's not even as if I do anything all day long. And of course by all day long I mean from 2pm on. There's just not much I've wanted to tell you about. That's really not true. But I've taken to talking to you, nuch in the same way that some people pray to god. I don't know if you can hear me, and if you can I doubt you can understand a word of what I'm saying, but it makes me feel better so just leave it at that ok?

I read the most horrible book the other night, which left me shaking and crying (more like wailing) so much that it woke up your father. First he saw my face and then I'm sure he saw the book and probably had to seriously fight the urge to roll his eyes. But anyway. The woman in the book was pregnant, but there were possible complications with the baby. I think she had ten weeks left until the child was to be born. So the last ten weeks her and the father of the child were on pins and needles, just terrified that their child would die. The delivery date came and the child was perfect. Healthy and all that jazz, but then for seemily no reason the woman died. WTF!?! I've been a little off ever since. They really need to put warnings on the outside of books like that. Hmmmm. Oh well.

I'm gonna go help with dinner. I love you very much. Five months and ten days. I'll see you soon.

Can't sleep.....must eat stuff

Today I have consumed:

A chicken and cheese sandwich
chips and 7 layer dip
reese cups
m&ms
deep dish cheese and pepperoni pizza
sour cream and onion chips
french fries
spagetti
bowl of ice cream

Did I mention that I didn't even get up until around 3:30 this afternoon? Still hungry tho....maybe I'll go to white castle.

you're a picky little thing

If you could fing it in your heart....please don't wake me up with a craving for a mexican landslide and a virgin bloody mary, let me get to union jack's, order it, and then throw it back up.....that wasn't very nice.

"if you'd played by yourself none of this would have happened"

Hello

I've known about you for a little while now, but I got to see you for the first time two days ago. You couldn't see me and I'm sure you were wondering what in the hell was going on. You should go ahead and get used to that question, because your life isn't going to be easy, and it probably won't make sense to any of us, especially you, ever.

Now now....Don't let me lead to believe that it's going to be a horrible thing to have to deal with....You've got plenty of things going for you. For one thing you are loved. You will always be cared for and taken care of. You're strong. That's a big plus. You've made it this far and that's pretty incredible. Granted...You're not out of the woods yet, but I have faith. Let's see, what else? You're healthy as far as we can tell....So that's SUPER HUGE AWESOME news. Yeah, so there's that. Odds seem to be in your favor. Life is good.

Here's the thing. After I saw you I was sitting in a room all by myself, and I was overwhelmed by it all, by you I suppose. No one wants to disappoint the ones they love, but it's only those people that expect enough to be in danger of being disappointed. I realize that might make zero sense right now, but you'll understand some day. I want to be the best EVERYTHING I can for you, but I KNOW I will let you down at some point, somewhere along the way I will disappoint you. So I'm sitting in this room and I just burst into tears. I hugged myself as if I was hugging you and then I apologized profusely for every time I let you down. We don't really know each other yet, since you have no idea that I exist or of role I will eventually play in your life, but my hopes are that someday we'll be incredibly close to each other. I hope you'll look to me for support and guidance. I want with all my heart to a person that you'll look up to. A person you'll be able to respect.

The future remains a mystery as it always will, but I've got a lot of faith and hope for us. I honestly don't feel like I'll be able to wait until I can see you, touch you, meet you up close and personal, and introduce myself to you. *Love the shit out of you*

So I guess that's all I have to say right now. There won't be daily updates for you here by any means, but my plan is to try and write to you fairly often until I can just talk with you instead. I love you more than even I can understand at this point. I'm also scared enough for the both of us....So you should just relax and get yourself together. You'll have plenty of time in the future to worry and stress. I promise.