Over the river and thorugh the woods

You two are currently at your Grandma & Grandpa Cook's house. Every other weekend they take you for a night. Aiden - you think your Grandpa Cook is the best thing ever. If he's around then no one else matters. I think it's wonderful to see you with him and him with you. Reilly - you are really starting to show your personality and it is AMAZING. Your Grandma Cook is wowed by everything you do. (and she's had two kids of her own so that really says something) You boys are now and will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me. BUT, while you're gone there are so things I need to get done, so I'd better get to it. <3

Paul Harvey

Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him..

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

androids of my very own.

I just don't know. I don't want to scrap all of my previous entries because that was a very important time in my life. In our lives. But I didn't document one day of my pregnancy with reilly. Not one. I don't want him to feel like that means I loved him any less. Oh my. Having kids is very....

I don't know. I don't even update this. Not since right before I had aiden. Maybe I should start. I would start but every entry would be like this:

Blah blah blah. Cute thing kid 1 did. Cute thing kid 2 did. Went to work. Came home. Bathed children. Went to sleep.

No one wants to read that. I don't even want to read that. Meh. We'll see.

Any day now

This will just be a short post. You can come any day now. If you're not out by June 21st, they're going to induce me. I'm super excited, but also fairly scared. I love you sweetie.

Who's my sweet boy?

First off, your Father in crazy.....but in a good way.

We had our first "birthing and newborn care" class today. In all honesty, I think I'm more freaked out now, than I was before we went. I'm so anxious to see you, but at the same time, OH MY GOODNESS! The last video we watched really worried me. Please please please try and go easy on your mom, and if it's not asking too much....try to not drag it out.

In other news, I'm huge! I'm up to 156.6lbs! Baby boy - I must tell you, I've NEVER weighed this much. EVER. I just keep telling myself that's it's all fine with me, as long as it means you're healthy. I'd imagine that you are, from the size of us. We also had the first baby shower last weekend. You got so many cute things to wear.....and your Great Aunt Patty and Uncle Gary got you the cutest little shoes! You won't be able to wear them for awhile. But that's okay. It's not like you'll be walking anywhere in the meantime. Oh sweetheart, you are so loved....and I can't express how thankful I am for that. You couldn't have a better father, and his family is pretty awesome too. As far as my side of the family goes, they all will love you very much, it might just be that they'll do it in their own way....and it won't always make good sense. If that confuses you now, I promise some day you'll understand. They mean well. They really do.

I love you. You're my sweet boy.

One more picture!

And here is me, you, and your Aunt Liz! 

Us

Here we both are! That's me and you! 

Hips and the pelvis relocation

Hello my sweet boy. You've been very active this past week. You're my little wiggle worm. I love it so much when I can see you're little arm or leg ripple across my stomach. It's spectacular! This past month has seriously just flown right by us. If the next three go this fast then you'll be in my arms before I know it!

Now....so far this whole experience has been pretty easy on your mom, which in turn makes it easy on your dad. However, lately my hips and pelvis have been killing me. It's a good thing, because it means that they are separating, which means it's getting close to the time you finally come out. But it hurts SO BAD! I've always thought that I have a fairly high tolerance for pain, but this is really getting to me. I think it's because it's constant ache, and not quick sharp pain. Oh well.....I suppose it's nothing compared to what I will feel on the day I get to hold you for the first time, but still. In the end I know it will all be worth it, so I'm dealing. I love you so much baby! We're almost there!

AIDEN!

Hello my sweet boy. Your father and I just got back from registering at Babies R Us. It's overwhelming how much stuff one tiny guy like yourself will need once born. We are trying to make sure we are as ready as possible, but I'm starting to wonder if anyone is ever ready for this. Oh well....either way, I still can't wait until I can hold you in my arms. I love you so much. I'm going to go for now, but I'll post again soon. Your father and I are so thrilled that you are you and we love you more than words can say. Kisses and hugs.

Ribs and concert tees

Hello my lovely. I do believe that you have turned around, though I won't know for sure until I get to see you again. Only six more days and counting. Just a quick little note here before I go to bed for the 3rd and final time today. You are killing my ribs...I don't think it's that you are anywhere near them, however, I do still have all those pesky internal organs that I had before you were in there, and I think those are pushing against my rib cage. It hurts baby. It hurts bad. On another note, your daddy went to a concert last night and got you a tee shirt. You won't be able to wear it for a few months, but I think you're going to love it. We love you very much and we can't wait to see you.

TV has become my life

So here's a typical day for me these days....I'll get up when your dad gets up to go to work. I might pop in a movie after he leaves for work. Somewhere in the middle of the movie I fall back asleep. Then I'll wake up between 12:30 and 1:00 pm. Just in time for my stories. Of course there are always one or two commercials that come on during them that just make me tear up a bit. Today, for example, it was a commercial about a little boy practicing hockey. It's just him and a goalie. He's got all these pucks lined up and he's shooting them into the goal. After his last shot he takes his helmet off and says, "Thanks mom." Then the goalie takes her helmet off, smiles, and says, "anytime."
Ah....do you see what you're doing to me!?! You're turning me into a mother. It's the greatest thing in the world, though very odd sometimes. It's so weird how things really do change. Oh well....I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you squish.

Baby baby baby baby

Hey baby! You are getting so freakin' big I can't believe it. We've taken to calling you squishy. In about 22 days we will know for sure what to call you. Aiden, Isabelle. I can't hardley wait. The suspense is killing me I tell you. There's really not any other "news" that I should share with you. We are slowly getting things ready for your arrival. We both love you SO MUCH! I hope you're still coming to stay with us. Part of me is afraid that you'll realize what you're in for and abort mission. I can't say that I would blame you if you did, but I would be heartbroken to say the least. All that keeps me going is knowing that everything happens for a reason. I'll always love you no matter what. Until next time. :)

I know, I know...just call me a slacker

It's not even as if I do anything all day long. And of course by all day long I mean from 2pm on. There's just not much I've wanted to tell you about. That's really not true. But I've taken to talking to you, nuch in the same way that some people pray to god. I don't know if you can hear me, and if you can I doubt you can understand a word of what I'm saying, but it makes me feel better so just leave it at that ok?

I read the most horrible book the other night, which left me shaking and crying (more like wailing) so much that it woke up your father. First he saw my face and then I'm sure he saw the book and probably had to seriously fight the urge to roll his eyes. But anyway. The woman in the book was pregnant, but there were possible complications with the baby. I think she had ten weeks left until the child was to be born. So the last ten weeks her and the father of the child were on pins and needles, just terrified that their child would die. The delivery date came and the child was perfect. Healthy and all that jazz, but then for seemily no reason the woman died. WTF!?! I've been a little off ever since. They really need to put warnings on the outside of books like that. Hmmmm. Oh well.

I'm gonna go help with dinner. I love you very much. Five months and ten days. I'll see you soon.

Can't sleep.....must eat stuff

Today I have consumed:

A chicken and cheese sandwich
chips and 7 layer dip
reese cups
m&ms
deep dish cheese and pepperoni pizza
sour cream and onion chips
french fries
spagetti
bowl of ice cream

Did I mention that I didn't even get up until around 3:30 this afternoon? Still hungry tho....maybe I'll go to white castle.

you're a picky little thing

If you could fing it in your heart....please don't wake me up with a craving for a mexican landslide and a virgin bloody mary, let me get to union jack's, order it, and then throw it back up.....that wasn't very nice.

"if you'd played by yourself none of this would have happened"

Hello

I've known about you for a little while now, but I got to see you for the first time two days ago. You couldn't see me and I'm sure you were wondering what in the hell was going on. You should go ahead and get used to that question, because your life isn't going to be easy, and it probably won't make sense to any of us, especially you, ever.

Now now....Don't let me lead to believe that it's going to be a horrible thing to have to deal with....You've got plenty of things going for you. For one thing you are loved. You will always be cared for and taken care of. You're strong. That's a big plus. You've made it this far and that's pretty incredible. Granted...You're not out of the woods yet, but I have faith. Let's see, what else? You're healthy as far as we can tell....So that's SUPER HUGE AWESOME news. Yeah, so there's that. Odds seem to be in your favor. Life is good.

Here's the thing. After I saw you I was sitting in a room all by myself, and I was overwhelmed by it all, by you I suppose. No one wants to disappoint the ones they love, but it's only those people that expect enough to be in danger of being disappointed. I realize that might make zero sense right now, but you'll understand some day. I want to be the best EVERYTHING I can for you, but I KNOW I will let you down at some point, somewhere along the way I will disappoint you. So I'm sitting in this room and I just burst into tears. I hugged myself as if I was hugging you and then I apologized profusely for every time I let you down. We don't really know each other yet, since you have no idea that I exist or of role I will eventually play in your life, but my hopes are that someday we'll be incredibly close to each other. I hope you'll look to me for support and guidance. I want with all my heart to a person that you'll look up to. A person you'll be able to respect.

The future remains a mystery as it always will, but I've got a lot of faith and hope for us. I honestly don't feel like I'll be able to wait until I can see you, touch you, meet you up close and personal, and introduce myself to you. *Love the shit out of you*

So I guess that's all I have to say right now. There won't be daily updates for you here by any means, but my plan is to try and write to you fairly often until I can just talk with you instead. I love you more than even I can understand at this point. I'm also scared enough for the both of us....So you should just relax and get yourself together. You'll have plenty of time in the future to worry and stress. I promise.